Self Love Project
Boudoir photography allows me to empower women, and help them accept their body, the body they have now, and be confident in their own skin. It has also helped ME over the years, to be confident in *MY* skin. I’ve yoyo’d from 135lbs and a size 6 (thanks to these big birthin’ hips I inherited), to 185lbs and a size 16/18, and back and forth, and back and forth. I’ve booked a boudoir session for myself at every size, because I’ve been self-conscious as hell at a size 6, and a size 16, and needed that boost in confidence and shot of self acceptance at every size, every year.
This year, I’ve been working on losing weight (yes, again) but this year, my focus has been on losing it, the right way, so I can keep the weight off for longer than 6 months! Right now, I’m down 21lbs, and I have to say, I’m feeling pretty good. I don’t have a specific goal, like trying to get back down to 135lb or into a size 6. For the first time in a looooong time, I’m just fine without some crazy goal of losing 50lbs and dropping 5 pants sizes. Not to toot my own horn, but this is HUGELY in part to boudoir photography. Seeing myself as sexy at every size has really helped me to accept my body, and learn to love it, just the way it is, at every stage. Yes I have stretchmarks, yes I have cellulite, and yes, when I sit down my belly rolls down and to the side. haha OH FUCKING WELL! This is me, and I’m kind of, pretty awesome. 🙂
I had Saturday off this weekend. It was my first one in a long time, and I won’t get another Saturday off until mid June. So I went to the studio to try to get some selfies. First, let me tell you how hard it was for me, because I didn’t have an adjustable tripod, or a remote shutter. So I had to put the camera on a 10 second timer, set it on my step ladder, put a mop in the place I was going to be to grab focus, push the shutter button, then run like a mad woman, throw the mop out of the frame, pose, and look sexy in 10 seconds. It was hilarious, and exhausting, and after a couple hours, I only got a handful of images. haha Because this was an impromptu thing, I also didn’t have a stylist, so it’s the ONLY session in existence where my hair is naturally curly, since everyone straightens it for sessions.
There are tons of these! Can I just ask what the hell my camera WAS focused on? Like there isn’t anything in focus here. lol This is where “moppy” started to come in, after several failed attempts like this.
Now we’re talking! Not perfect, but look, I’m in focus! You can see me!
After several attempts at getting my face in focus in one shot, I got frustrated, and the following image resulted.
But I was able to capture this gem after my little fit.
Then I switched to my old bodysuit, and finished up with a few darker/moodier images, and called it a day.